The Bio That Never Was…
This year I’ve had to write three separate bios. One for my occupation (web producer), and two for my professions…playwright and photographer. This started off as my photography bio, and then it wasn’t.
Christine Jean Chambers started taking photos when she was 10-years-old. She was quite impressed with herself until her grandmother’s best friend who was a photographer sat her down and said they were, “not so good. “ She said, “there’s too much space on the top. It MEANS nothing!” She then went on to tell her that she was too fat to be a dancer (digressing.) But Christine was 10 so she didn’t understand why that didn’t earn her any bonus points. Oh well. This is why she is obsessed with framing.
In the 6th grade she won the “Best Artist” award at her school for a series of painted masks. So all the hatin’ 8th graders picked on her because that’s what 8th graders do. That same year she was the runner up at her school talent show where she performed the Vanessa Williams top ten hit. “Save the Best for Last.” The next year she won. She never won an award for playing the trumpet, but she was holding down the horn section in band for two years. Her sister promised if she played for at least one year she could perform at her wedding. She can’t wait for that moment. In the eighth grade her voice was ruined forever by a teacher who would make her sing alto or soprano depending on which group was quieter that day, she remembers singing an Elvis song…”I’m just a one-eyed cat peeping in a sea food store.” The girls performed in poodle skirts and her partner’s twin brother who was a jock mocked him from his seat.
In the ninth grade a director spotted Christine eating a sandwich and told her, “You should be an actor!” So she was. That same year her voice cracked while singing her solo in Oliver. During her years in repertory theatre she won awards like, “All Star New England Actor.” (It exists! Ask the people of Bangor, Maine.) She wishes she could find these awards – but alas. How does a hoarder lose practically everything?
Blah, blah, blah, poems, blah blah blah, essays, blah blah blah blah love letters, blah blah blah her first love was a wide receiver who also loved to paint. Blah.
When she moved to New York City to study playwriting at Columbia University in 2004 she decided she would also invest in a new camera. At first she was to shy to shoot anyone on her street. She’d look around. Everyone looked so amazing (tilting camera up) everyone was prettier than her, (tilting camera down) and in 3-years she was going to move back down south.
Zip-zap-ZOOM! Reciting Keats whilst drunk to an Englishman who had been admiring her for 2-years even though she hadn’t recalled seeing him – ever. Her gorgeous Dutch friend who looked like a Victoria Secret model was digging him, so why is he not interested? Oh that’s right! Because I hadn’t seem him until today….
More artist bio later…
This is me. Christine Jean.
Photographer/Writer/ Swiss Army Knife